Twelve Steps

Hi. My name is Mike and I'm a jerk. That's what someone close to me called me recently (actually reference was made to the human anatomy, but I'm cleaning it up a bit here). As I sputtered a series of refutations, I realized she was right and I haven't been the same since.

I begin this with a style of declaration that starts any 12-Step testimonial because being a jerk is like an addiction. While I'm not a jerk all the time, conditions can conspire to put me right in the middle of a good long bout of jerkiness. Under these conditions, when I am a jerk, I'm not proud of the way I act, react and think. I just can't seem to control myself. I become overwhelmed and I say things I later regret and I act like a, well, like a jerk.

Fear is my drug of choice. Precisely, it is the fear of making a mistake or the fear of being discovered as a fraud that leads to the transformation to jerk. I'm capable of compassion and empathy except when I feel like I'm being criticized. When I'm under attack, the meanness comes out under the cover of defensiveness.

My hope is in the belief that I am a recovering jerk. I admit that I have no power over my addiction and my life is presently unmanageable. I believe that only God can restore my  sanity and I turn this addiction over to God for care. The third step of the program has far reaching implications. The step calls for a decision to turn our will and lives to the care of God as we understand God.

It is the last part of this step that I'll be considering over the next series of posts. What do I understand about God? In addition to guidance from the 12 steps, I'll also use Alexander Shaia's The Hidden Power of the Gospels.

Living, Working and Serving in Two Worlds

Christ speaks of two worlds, both real, but with only one worthy of our consciousness. In one world, consciousness is centered on oneself. Folks living in this world seek more of what they already have: security, comfort, prestige, power and control. The highly valued folks in this world are rich in things, well-fed, happy and respected members of the community.

In the other world, consciousness is centered on what is to come. This is a transformative world where the most respected, or blessed, people are not very well adjusted to present conditions. They are not rich in things. They are often hungry. Since they are downtrodden, they are often perceived as unhappy. They are reviled, pitied or ignored.

Nonprofit organizations are the center of this more meaningful world. High performance then is in healing, lifting up, empowering and rendering justice. More than this, high performance means delivering the messages and teachings of the poor, widows, orphans and prisoners to the people still living, working and serving in the unreal world.

I believe Jesus urges us to do just that in a mysterious parable that appears only in Luke. It is a curious tale of management styles of the two worlds. Knowing that he will soon be fired, a dishonest steward ingratiates himself with his master's debtors by reducing their accounts. Upon realizing what had been done, the master commends the steward for acting shrewdly. Jesus ends the parable by saying, "For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than the people of the light."